It takes a few minutes to figure it out because it's late, kind of smoky and, well, it just doesn't look right. But the front man for Metallica - once regarded as the fiercest heavy metal band on the planet - is smiling.
It's not one of those satanic smirks, either, but the kind of full-on Invisalign grin you see in the waiting room at the dentist's office. If you want to get technical about it, it might even be an actual grin. What has the world come to?
It's Monday night and Metallica is celebrating its 30th anniversary in the relatively intimate environs of its favorite hometown venue, the Fillmore. Just a few weeks ago, the group was playing enormous shows in such exotic locales as Rio de Janeiro, Abu Dhabi and Bangalore.
But to mark this occasion, the black-clad quartet has rented the venue for the week and is playing exclusively for members of its fan club who were lucky enough to score $6 tickets - or $19.81 for all four nights (the sold-out shows continue tonight, Friday and Saturday).
Opens at 7
The doors open at 7 p.m., but the band doesn't actually take the stage until four hours later, giving fans the opportunity to watch comedian Jim Breuer and not one but two novelty Metallica tribute acts - the Soul Rebels brass band and Finnish cello rockers Apocalyptica.
Some fans use the long wait to get so wasted they are escorted from the venue before Metallica plays a note - their $125 orange and black baseball jerseys acting as bitter souvenirs draped on their backs.
Three hours of music
They have vowed not to play the same song twice during the residency, which is bad news for anyone who misses the show and is hoping to hear chug-chug-chugging classics like "Leper Messiah," "Damage, Inc." (with former bassist Jason Newsted) or "One" (with accompaniment by Apocalyptica). Each one is awesome beyond words.
The whole thing doesn't feel so much like a casual rehearsal as a hang session - which is wonderful for the fans. There is a bit with stools and acoustic guitars. One lucky guy gets pulled onstage to play guitar on "Wherever I May Roam." The group plays a previously unreleased - and frankly dreadful - song, "Hate Train," from the "Death Magnetic" sessions and then hilariously turns it into the running joke of the night.
At one point, Hetfield barks to no one in particular, "Hey, we're onstage. ... Get with it!" But he clearly doesn't mean it. They're having too much fun.
Guests are promised and they eventually arrive - John Marshall of Metal Church ("Sad But True"), Biff Byford of Saxon ("Motorcycle Man") and four songs with Diamond Head's Brian Tatler and Sean Harris. Then they all come out at the end for "Seek and Destroy."
It's not exactly Green Day or Lou Reed - not tonight. But it's obvious these relics from 1986 clearly mean a lot to the four guys onstage. Maybe it's OK, just once, that Metallica cuts loose and has a blast. And if they want to cap the night off with a burst of confetti and balloons, well, we won't tell anyone.
